And the winner is....C-section, by a landslide

There's a reason my doctor(s) never referenced the statistic that "Ninety percent of placenta previas diagnosed in the first and second trimester will correct themselves."

My doctor could just tell that my placenta was special. My placenta is 'specially in the wrong place, in fact. It's way down low and covering the cervix (Lyric's exit route) instead of up high and out the way.

So, it seems it's pretty much official...Kevin and I don't get to join a classroom full of chubby women huffing heavily along with their awkward husbands, who are chanting "breathe, honey, breathe!" It's Caesarian section all the way for me and my uterus.

Yes, Miss Lyric has kindly placed her placenta smack over my cervix, effectively blocking the exit. I envision a lifetime of bedroom doors being slammed in my face, followed by a high-pitched, "No, I WON'T come out!" wails. This, naturally, will be followed by me repeating something annoying like, "You know, you've been like this ever since you were a FETUS."

So what else does this all mean?

It means I get (to some extent) to pick her birthday, which is fun. Right now, I'm hoping for 6/6/07, which is not the Mark of the Beast (we missed that by not doing this last year, darn it). But I guess it will make her, perhaps, the little sister of the Beast?
It also means that we get another set of ultrasounds in 6 weeks (that's a 34 weeks, when she's Allllll Baby) to help the doctor "confirm the geography" of my insides to prep for the demolition work.

(When I get home tonight, I'll scan and post the pictures we got today. She still looks all bumpy, since that's the nature of an ultrasound's waves bouncing off the moving fluids), but she has Kevin's big chubby baby cheeks and his teeny nose. They said she has hair, too, but I can't see it. It must be Kevin's hair, because I think I was very, very bald 'til I was walking.

And, it also means that I "get" to have an amniocentesis to ensure her tiny lungs are fully developed before they scoop her outta me. This, for the uninitiated, is am amnio needle. You can only imagine how much I'm looking forward to having this jabbed into my giant belly.
Apparently her placenta is not only down low, but it's also up in front, instead of in the back...where it belongs. So now they have to extra careful when they start cutting. And did I mention she's right-side-up instead of upside-down. My little contrarian.

I've also been informed by the nonmedical crowed that because we are moving her due date up by at least 3 weeks, she'll no longer be a laid back Cancer sign. She'll be split-personality Gemini. We're thinking boarding school at this point.